Success and failure are two sides of the same coin. Without one, you cannot have the other. So if you want to succeed in life, then you must accept the fact that you will fail at times.
However, the pain of failure is not reduced even when you acknowledge that it will happen. Therefore, it is extremely important that you learn how to handle failure so that it benefits you instead of destroying you.
It must be stated that there are many different kinds of failures in life and they all affect people differently. It does not change the fact that they can be handled through a general process and here is iOA’s take on that process:
1. Take A Break
When we sustain an injury, we are expected to rest before we can continue our daily efforts such as working or studying. In fact, sometimes we are even advised to NOT push ourselves because it will slow down our recovery and it will also lower the quality of whatever we do.
The same mindset must be applied towards failures. You must rest after a failure. How you rest is up to you. Some people need some time alone after they fail, while others prefer to be with the people they love. Do whatever you feel is right, just make sure it makes you feel good.
2. Fix Your Mindset
A failure is like a blanket on your mind. It covers everything in darkness and you will see only your weaknesses. You will feel as if you cannot stop blaming yourself and that you are a pathetic human being.
The truth is that you are not as good as you think you are when you win but you are also not as bad as you think you are when you lose.
Never forget that as a human being you have both strengths and weaknesses. Failures are opportunities for you to improve upon your weaknesses. They do not mean that you only have weaknesses.
3. Talk To Those With Experience
If you have failed at something, there is a very good chance that someone has failed it too and then went on to succeed afterwards. Find these people and talk to them. Learn from them and make them a source of motivation and wisdom.
There is no shame in learning from another person who has failed. In fact, it is a trait of wise people to learn from the failures of others. This is why many successful people have mentors.
4. Look Around You
When we are depressed about our failures, we often change our outlook of the world. Suddenly, we think the world is a worse place and that happiness is hard for us to find.
As human beings, our perception is primarily limited to what we ourselves experience. This is why a personal failure can seem like it affects the world when the truth is that it affects OUR world.
Turn on the news or just log into social media and you will find news of terrible things happening around the world. Innocent people are being treated violently and unfairly on a daily basis and some of them are struggling to live in war-torn countries they call home.
You will realise that your suffering and depression is nothing compared to those people. The point here is not for you to care about them but for you to understand that your failure is not as bad as you think. Once you understand how lucky you are to be able to fail and learn from your failures, you will be motivated to suck it up and move on.
5. Forget About Other People
Failures are very embarrassing especially if you fail in front of a lot of people.
But wait. Do you take a long time each day and think about the failures of people around you? Do you stay up at night wondering why someone else failed?
You probably don’t. Guess what? Everyone else feels the same way!
Nobody really cares about your failures after the exact moment it happened. Like how you are too busy worrying about yourself, other people are also too busy worrying about themselves.